I should be paying attention to this lecture.: Valentine's Day Cards for the Average Geek

Portal references: A surefire way to attract geeks.

It's Valentine's Day in just over a week, ladies and gents. I hope you've all remembered to book that really fancy restaurant and get lots of flowers and cards and other high profit-margin items to give to your better half to prove your undying devotion to the capitalist giants that dictate our every waking thought and action.

The slogans on some of the bags for life are unnervingly appropriate.

If you've forgotten to do all of those things then I've got good news for you: there's always McDonald's. For the other small matter of finding the right way to tell them you care I've taken the time to compile some completely original (and not already over-used) geek-themed Valentine's Day card designs for you to print out and lovingly shove in your boy/girlfriend's face. They're watermark-free seeing as I've essentially just spliced licensed properties into cheesy jokes, however please be nice and don't straight up nick them to pretend that you're as funny and charming and well-endowed as me; all I ask is for recognition of my genius.

You'll find a download link and a classic Ben-quip [patent pending] to put inside the card underneath each image so go, spread your feelings (and my designs, yay) like so many love-juice based illnesses:

Enough of this Tarkin and TIE me down already.
Download

I'm pregnant.
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The dildo wasn't.
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Hiiiiiiiiii!
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Every breath you take, every move you make...
I'll be watching.
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Time passes, people move... Like a river's flow, it never ends. A childish mind will turn to noble ambition...
Young love will become deep affection... The clear water's surface reflects growth.
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