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Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Casting Calls and Creamed Cabbage

Remember those times when you went out and did things and experienced stuff and made memories and such? I think scholars call it having a life. Well, it turns out I have one of them too, and seeing as the scheduled review of The World's End has been pushed back to next week so as not to coincide with The Girl Who Loves Horror's own review of the same movie, this gives me the perfect opportunity to strap you down and force you to listen to my inane crap until you're nothing more than a ball of blubbering mush.

Mr. Kubrick never did give me those home movies back...
It was my brother, Daniel's, 21st birthday this weekend so we all went through to Glasgow for a bit of a celebration. He got a camera, I was jealous. My mum, being the epic bargain hunter/hoarder/crazy person that she is, managed to pay for the hotel and restaurant entirely with Tesco clubcard points.

Meanwhile, my HMV reward points collect nothing but dust and regret.
The restaurant was bootyful and yes, you are about the sit through me telling you about my meal. Deal with it's delicious tedium. Chicken satay to start, then duck with creamed cabbage, dauphinoise potatoes and cherry sauce, and finally chocolate tart for pud. All of the oms and approximately fourteen noms. If you're interested in where this place is in Glasgow, it's called La Bonne Auberge and you'll find it on West Nile Street.

Across the road from The Acceptable Courgette.
Sunday was a little less tasty and a little more exhausting. Those of you keeping your ear to the grape vine (beware of caterpillars) will have heard about the open casting call for the new Star Wars movie that was on in Glasgow this past weekend, and seeing as we were through there anyway, Fiona and I thought we might as well give it a bash. Sadly that meant getting up at 6am to beat the queue. 

"Fiona, meet 6am on a Sunday. 6am, meet the human cornish pasty."
The whole thing was, obviously, a waste of time in the end, but it's always nice to be able to tell people that I auditioned for Star Wars. Give it ten years and I can ham it up to "I was in a battle to the death with the last three auditionees for the new Star Wars movie but I decided at the last minute, with a Bat'leth pressed against my fallen foe's throat and a Krull glaive lodged between my 5th and 6th thoracic vertebrae, that I would be the better human; I would fight against the Hollywood machine. I would live, goddamnit!"

"And that was when daddy snapped Batman's spine atop Amon SĂșl while thrashing out a sick bass solo. The End."
Then came lots of very tired shopping and some chai at a lovely tea lounge called Cup, where one of the waiters congratulated me on my (read: Fiona's) Adventure Time hat. Oh, how good it is to find kindred spirits.

The hard bit it getting them in the bottle...
And that was my weekend. Normal services shall resume as of next week, so until then, why don't you tell me what you got up to this week? Oh yeah, that's why, I don't want to know. Stay away from the comments, you filthy little Hobbitses.

"Move along..."


  1. I must have those wine stoppers!

    1. I think this will forever be my favourite wine stopper.

  2. 5am, you should say. Also, please tell me that Cthulhu stopper is for sale.